This is why I love cat's!

Non-VW related chat - Moderated
Post Reply
dino
Sponsor
Posts: 3023
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:59 am
Location: Milton Keynes

This is why I love cat's!

Post by dino »

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!





Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

barstewards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.

I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
ModifiedMadness
Sponsor
Posts: 6769
Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2005 8:38 pm
Location: Bedford Drives: MK5 Golf R32

Post by ModifiedMadness »

:lol: :lol: Love it
User avatar
alexperkins
Site Admin
Posts: 14873
Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 5:29 pm
Drives: 91 Golf GTI, 01 TT 225, 54 T5 174
Location: Poole, Dorset, UK.
Contact:

Post by alexperkins »

haha thats a classic :D:D
Sunburntfreek
Getting There!
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:24 pm
Location: Honiton nr. Exeter

Post by Sunburntfreek »

haha thats brilliant :D :D
User avatar
SpikeyG40
Moderator
Posts: 2757
Joined: Tue May 13, 2003 10:50 pm
Location: Soton Status: Vent'ho'd

Post by SpikeyG40 »

Like it alot! :wink:
Chally_Rai
Sponsor
Posts: 848
Joined: Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:40 am
Location: Nr Exeter
Contact:

Post by Chally_Rai »

cats are blatantly cooler than dogs. (see my myspace pic, i am fully in the cat wagon) but....

I dont get this bit "He(the dog) is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return."

i dont get it

:?
dragon_green
Gold Member
Posts: 599
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2005 9:47 pm

Post by dragon_green »

taken for a walk?
DanDiesel
Sponsor
Posts: 3995
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2005 10:38 am
Location: Kent Drives: VW Bora Highline

Post by DanDiesel »

its so true of cats :D
Dee-vub
Bling Bling Diamond Member
Posts: 2074
Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 2:13 pm
Location: Aberdeen

Post by Dee-vub »

Hahaha that is brilliant!

How can you ever say cats are better than dogs! What a crazy thing to say :shock:
JoeG07
Gold Member
Posts: 842
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 11:42 pm

Post by JoeG07 »

cats are way better than dogs dogs are just such d!ckheads
Chally_Rai
Sponsor
Posts: 848
Joined: Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:40 am
Location: Nr Exeter
Contact:

Post by Chally_Rai »

Dee-vub wrote: How can you ever say cats are better than dogs! What a crazy thing to say :shock:
Please dont make us explain :P
(PoLoBoI)
Sponsor
Posts: 130
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 7:22 am
Location: Lancashire (drives a 1.0 mpi 6n2 in black with a seat front splitter)

Post by (PoLoBoI) »

dogs are numb ours used to run into the doors and it WERNT blind but my cats on the other hand they like the top of my curtains in the front room sat on the curtain pole how odd
Post Reply