What does your car say about you?

[Nelson_Wilbury]

Acura NSX- I am impotent.
Alfa Romeo - I’m looking for Beta Juliet.
Aston Martin DB7 - I have sweaty feet, but still women like to suck my toes, I wonder why?
Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires.
Audi TT - I love golf, but I love my car (with no space) more.
Audi A4 - Airhead who wants to be a banker, but is already a merchant . . .
Audi A6 - I like/have to shave my hairy ****.
BMW 3 series - I’m a successful sole trader & I can’t drive.
BMW 5 series - I have a successful limited company & I can’t drive.
BMW 7 series - I get other people to do my work, I’m far too important, but I still can’t drive.
BMW Z3 - I eat bananas with Marmite spread on them & passed 3 GCSE’s.
BMW Z4 - I run a trendy wine bar & have drunk most of the profits.
BMW Z8 - See Nissan 350Z
Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states of America.
Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people.
Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Chrysler PT Cruiser - I dig graves & carry coffins.
Citroen AX - I chew on Barley straw & enjoy stamp collecting.
Citroen C3 - I want to escape to the jungle where life is free.
Citroen C5 - I have dreamed of conquering Mount Everest, but then thought it best to get a real job.
Citroen Picasso - From Essex, also see Renault Scenic.
Citroen Saxo - see Ford Fiesta.
Daewoo Matiz - I eat pizza for lunch & smoke 50 a day.
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart - I teach special needs children and I voted for Tony Blair.
Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
Ferrari 360M - I need a counselling session with Jerry Springer.
Ferrari 575 Maranello - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Fiat Uno - I’m a student waster.
Fiat Brava - Daddy buys my cars, one day he’ll buy me an MR2.
Fiat Bravo - I drive my low budget company car.
Fiat Espace - I live on a council estate; also see Renault scenic.
Fiat Multipla - I have no taste; also see Renault scenic.
Fiat Punto - I have product overload on my hair & consider Pizza Hut an Italian restaurant.
Ford Anglia - I buy all my clothes and consumables from my local pound shop.
Ford Cougar - I secretly steal street signs, I have them arranged in my back garden & at night it looks like aliens have landed.
Ford Escort - I’m a wannbe boy-racer, but in secret I buy pot plants for my mummy & take my Grandma shopping every week.
Ford Fiesta - Hairdresser, no sense of direction.
Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Focus - I’m a boy-racer disguised as a sensible office worker at the weekends I'm a curry monster!!
Ford KA - I’m a student & can’t afford a Fiesta.
Ford Maverick - I’m cute, gay & immature and I love peanut butter.
Ford Mondeo - I’m a family person posing as a business manager.
Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Orion - I like to cut shapes into potatoes and give them to the homeless.
Ford Sierra - I still think LA Gear trainers are “coolâ€

[PoloGTi]

Renault Clio - I love my Daddy.

Funnily enough, my dad bought my sister a brand spanking new Clio for her first car last year.

He got me a F-reg Metro! Hmmm

[SpikeyG40]

Skoda Fabia - I can’t afford a Volkswagen.
Toyota Supra - I can do no wrong.
Volkswagen Golf- I am out of the closet.
Volkswagen Golf Convertible - I’m still hiding in the closet, but one day. . .
Volkswagen Microbus- I am tripping right now.
Volkswagen Polo - I own my own salon, but use too much salt on my food.

just some of the ones i feel are, umm, useful to the forum, i like the mircobus one.
skoda fabia is especially for josh hehe
Y r u coming out or are out of the closet if u drive a golf.
whats going on with the polo one?

and i thought i'd leave the toyota supra one in there cause i think thats great!

[Tahrey1043]

Volkswagen Polo - I own my own salon, but use too much salt on my food.

OK, WTF?

I'm sure there's something funny in there somewhere, but i can't figure it out...

Mind you I saw this list back when it was only north american models... so it's been altered... good chance whoever took the time to add european ones was high at the time

[Tahrey1043]

time to analyse it in-depth with some deeper analysysysysis! exploring further than the VW list, this thing is seriously messed up!
yay for mind altering narcotics!

BMW 3 series - I’m a successful sole trader & I can’t drive.
BMW 5 series - I have a successful limited company & I can’t drive.

nuff said

BMW Z3 - I eat bananas with Marmite spread on them & passed 3 GCSE's.
Citroen AX - I chew on Barley straw & enjoy stamp collecting.
Citroen C3 - I want to escape to the jungle where life is free.

What?

Dodge Dart - I teach special needs children and I voted for Tony Blair.

Dodge what now? Isn't that a bus?

Fiat Uno - I’m a student waster.

yep

Fiat Brava - Daddy buys my cars, one day he’ll buy me an MR2.
Fiat Bravo - I drive my low budget company car.

THAT explains it. Who do you know says "yknow, i really like the look of those Fiat saloons, think i'll have one as my next car"...???

Ford Cougar - I secretly steal street signs, I have them arranged in my back garden & at night it looks like aliens have landed.

What the hell?

Ford Escort - I’m a wannbe boy-racer, but in secret I buy pot plants for my mummy & take my Grandma shopping every week.
Ford Fiesta - Hairdresser, no sense of direction.
Ford KA - I’m a student & can’t afford a Fiesta.

All three I can vouch for with examples

Ford Maverick - I’m cute, gay & immature and I love peanut butter.
Ford Orion - I like to cut shapes into potatoes and give them to the homeless.

Again........... are you on druuuuuuuuugs, boy?

Ford StreetKA - Half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.

Then why not get a Smart soft-top

Honda Accord - I pick my nose & flick the boogers at small children.
Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

For the indecisive

Honda Jazz - I’m a train-spotter who’s been arrested several times for stalking the trains.
Infiniti Q45- My job requires me to ensure every Jammy Dodger has no smaller than a 2cm Jam diameter.

ROFLMAO

Isuzu Impulse- I don’t give a rip about Max Power or their reports.

<monacle> J D Power, dear sir. Just because your joke has crossed the atlantic doesnt make one jot of difference </monacle>

Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.

"Failure" of Daihatsu?

Kia Sportage - I consider Car Boot Sale purchases Antiques of the future.

I can see my dad buying one of them in the near future, as he beleives that...

Lada Favourite - I’m a member of the Taliban seeking asylum in Great Britain.

1. Skoda favorit.
2. eh?

Lotus Elise - I dance like an ape & I love watching porn.
Lotus Elan - I go on 18-30’s holiday’s to see how the other half live!

Why else do you think I aspire to a Lotus? Porn and dancing like a monkey with the 18-30s, there's no other way...

MGZR - I’m a computer geek & make mohair wigs as a hobby.

Pardon?

Mitsubishi Colt - I smell of cheese & shop in Liddles, Aldi’s, Pound stretcher etc.

Yup

Nissan Sunny - I talk too much & can handle a vindaloo with ease.

Get the feeling this was written for a very small group of particular friends?

Peugeot 205 - I hang on street corners at the weekends & keep a machete under my passenger seat.
Peugeot 206cc - I’m two faced and will try and run all you wasters off the road.
Peugeot 307 - I’m an accountant, I’ve found a car that suites every purpose & no purpose at the same time.

Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on America’s Ten Most Wanted List.

Um??
Nasty old rattly things for sure, but wha?

Porsche Boxter - I still live with my mum & treat women like sh*t.
Proton Impian - I have a pet raccoon called Jimmy & prefer shift work.
Rover Metro - I spend all day watching Friends & ER, I also like egg mayo and Tuna sandwiches.

Those actually make sense

And now the VAG-bashing...

Seat Alhambra - I can’t cook, have rotten teeth & live on a council estate in Bromley.
Seat Ibiza - I want to be model, but I have no chance unless I bed the photographer.

WTF?

Seat Leon - My boss hates, that’s why he gave me this as a company car.
Skoda Fabia - I can’t afford a Volkswagen.

*ahem* backstabbing b*stards *ahem*

Smart Roadster - I collect Mars Bar wrappers, I have one dating back to 1948.
Suzuki Gran Vitara - I laugh like a demented dog & wear my underwear inside out.

Hello?!?!

TVR Tuscan - I keep picking up mingers, once had a bird with 3 ****.

If that's what a Tuscan does for you, I'll take two!
Three jubblies! Proper.

Vauxhall Corsa - I’m single, but at least I’m not a hairdresser.

Oh, that's no excuse.

Vauxhall Nova - Essex-boy-racer & drug-dealer, has had more speeding fines than hot dinners!

By slipstreaming a bus so he can make 37mph! At least somethings agreed on!

Vauxhall VX220 - I can’t see my feet, as my balls are too big.

What?!!!?

Volvo 740 Wagon- I am "frite"ned of my wife.

and a final victory for the iffy word filter

*off to eat a banana with marmite spread on it*