Now the "old people" have left - they have a sense

bstardchild · Post by **bstardchild** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:32 am

For Metz - to cheer him up - stuck at home with the flu

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a traffic warden writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a fascist. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. So I called him a nut. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired!

carmadaaron · Post by **carmadaaron** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:51 am

what do u do everyday? ive always wondered what retired ppl do.......
(im only 18btw)

bstardchild · Post by **bstardchild** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:58 am

So I don't get accused of spamming the club house - "again" I'll post in the same topic.....

Obviously For Metz blah blah

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs
some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one
of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement,
somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?"
The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table---whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in
sight, the little b@stard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue-ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate,
then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He
orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While
the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the
bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it. Then
the
monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his ass, pulls it out,
and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did
now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his ass, pulled it out,
and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me", replied the guy. "He still eats
everything
in sight, but ever since he had to sh!t out that cue ball, he measures
everything first."

bstardchild · Post by **bstardchild** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:06 am

carmadaaron wrote:what do u do everyday? ive always wondered what retired ppl do.......
(im only 18btw)

Oi - I'm 40 so got at least 25 years of attending to go - maybe more (30)under the "Blair Dictatorship"

I work in Logistics at a Pharmacutical Company - basically that means I order stuff and manage the stocks of stuff!!!!

metz · Post by **metz** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:29 am

hahaha, reading the "funny" posts inbetween coughing my guts up and choking on phlem!
*hope no one was put off their cornflakes*

Can you catch flu from a pm on msn? cos its funny how tahrey had it when he msged me and now ive got it.

bstardchild · Post by **bstardchild** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:53 am

metz wrote:hahaha, reading the "funny" posts inbetween coughing my guts up and choking on phlem!
*hope no one was put off their cornflakes*

Can you catch flu from a pm on msn? cos its funny how tahrey had it when he msged me and now ive got it.

Glad you liked em

Re the flu - you haven't got it from the recently departed (well nearly all of em) asylum seekers that were squatting downstairs over the weekend?

metz · Post by **metz** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 1:00 pm

Maybe i have...hmmm...where theres blame theres a claim!

hope its not some tropical bug they brought over from mkivdanisia!!

polopowah · Post by **polopowah** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:00 pm

get well soon
im off to have my flu jab tomorrow!
-Ben-

metz · Post by **metz** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:22 pm

Yea get the jab, i forgot how crap you feel when you have flu. And worst of all i havent even sat in the polo since sunday