What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not
getting any.
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians & 50 politicians in a room
together? 100 people who don't do dick.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lb..
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit
there in the dark and b***h.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the
biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? Are you sure it's mine?"
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the Cuban National Anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get
another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
