In the word of our Frankie...
**** you right back!
# A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
# What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin
# Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
They know theyre not going to prison for it
# How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
# Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
# Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
# Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
# Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
# What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
# Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
# Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
# Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
# If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.
# Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.
# How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
# What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
# How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
# Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.
# How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
One - men will screw up anything.
# How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
# How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
# How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows?
# How are men and toilets alike?
The good ones are always engaged. Free ones are mostly full of $hit
# Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the $hit out of you.
# Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains
# How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes
# How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini
# Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites Attract.
# What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man
# What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
tooooo shay
